Stand In The Rain
by JazzieLouise
Summary: This is written in L's perspective and it gives you an insight of his thoughts and feelings on the events that occur just before his death. Please read, enjoy and review. Inspired by a song called 'Stand In The Rain.' But it's NOT a sonfic.


**A/N I was sorting through my writing folders when I came across this. It's just a little one shot that I wrote a while back. I edited it and decided to post it here. It's written from L's perspective; basically, it allows you to see some of L's thoughts and feelings on the events that led up to his death.**

_Stand In The Rain_

I am sat in my chair at the Kira Head-Quarters, about to bite into a tasty looking donut, when it starts.

My head vibrates with the sound of bells toiling at once. The sound is absolutely deafening. My eye twitches slightly as I contain my reaction inside; I refuse to let anyone else know about the bells that have been tormenting my mind for as long as I remember.

Slowly, I risk a glance around the room. I suppose I am really looking for someone to confirm that the bells were not just a figment of my imagination. To anyone else, I looked like I was searching for something.

"What are you looking for, Ryuuzaki?" Matsuda asks as he puts the file down and makes his way over to me.

"I was just wondering where Light-Kun went off to." I lied easily; it is something that I have become very familiar with over the last couple of years. Matsuda believed me right away. _Are my emotions really that well hidden?_

"Oh, he's upstairs. He said he needed to get some rest after the late night yesterday."

I nod and simply return to the screen. I rest my thumb against my teeth and bite into it hard. I can feel the skin breaking under the pressure, but my mind is already racing.

Matsuda just walks off, believing me.

_I have noticed that over recent years. My life is a huge lie and no one has ever noticed. _I bite down harder on my thumb. _No one else can hear the bells. As much as I hate to admit it, they are only a figment of my imagination. They always have been…_

The bells toil again even louder than before and with every single chime I am faced with yet another horrible flashback from my past.

I can see the wedding, hear the bells signalling their love for the other. I hear the gunshot and the panicked screams. I can hear the funeral bells chiming. I can hear the bells as a girl commits suicide. My sister. I can remember the bells that toil as they lower the coffins into the ground and the Earth embraces their bodies.

The bells toil again and I am surrounded by jet black darkness. I bite down harder on my thumb without realising.

"Ryuuzaki? Are you okay? You're bleeding." Matsuda's worried face fills my vision and I blink, instantly hiding my emotions. It has become an instinct now. A survival instinct, I suppose. I nod and remove my thumb from my mouth. I pull some tissue from my back pocket and wipe my chin and thumb clean.

"That's a deep cut… What happened?" Matsuda asks as he reaches for my thumb.

I jerk back sharply and pull my legs closer to my chest. "It's fine. It will heal soon. I was just thinking too hard that's all."

"What were you thinking about?" Matsuda asks the question that I knew he was going to ask.

"That's irrelevant information. Please get back to work." I keep my voice low and level with a sharp edge to it.

Matsuda gets the hint. "F-Fine, but if you want to talk I'm always here."

"What would I need to talk about?" I reply in my usual monotone.

"I-I don't know. I-I don't know enough about you to answer that question." Matsuda stutters through his response.

"That's how I wish to keep it Matsuda. Now if you will excuse me I need some fresh air."

"It's pouring it down out there!" Matsuda protests.

"So?" I reply without turning around.

"I'll come too!" I can hear him following me.

"Who will watch Head-Quarters?" I ask as I turn to face him.

Matsuda looks around to find that no one else is here. "Umm…"

"Exactly." I mutter as I begin to walk away.

"If you ever want to talk just let me know."

I suppress a sigh and continue walking._ If I spoke to anyone they would certainly commit me to a mental institution. No. Talking is not an option. I probably don't have much time left. I don't wish to spend the time I have left in a straight jacket. _

I walk up the stairs and keep going until I reach the top. I could have taken the lift I suppose, but I really don't want to risk bumping into anyone else right now…

I walk straight up to the roof and don't hesitate at all when I see the really bad weather. The sky is dark and dusky in colour and the gloomy clouds hang low over the tall skyscraper.

I walk straight out and continue going. The rain is ice cold but it doesn't bother me. The rain is hitting the floor and it makes a lot of noise but the bells ringing in my head are loud enough to drown out any other noise.

The rain hits my face and hands hard and it feels like I'm being stabbed repeatedly with a thousand needles. I really don't care though. The pain feels good and it helps to draw away from the racket in my head. Not completely, but it certainly does help.

I hear a noise and I turn to my left to see Light. He has his hand up and is shielding his hair from the fierce weather. He is stood in the shelter of the building; out of the rain.

He begins talking but I can't hear him over the torrential downpour of rain. I lift my hand up to my ear, a universal sign that he needs to speak up.

Light then cups his hand around his mouth and tries again. "What are you doing out here, Ryuuzaki?"

I hear him perfectly fine this time round, but I am curious to see whether I can get him to come out into the rain. So, I lean over slightly and put my hand back up to my ear.

Light sighs and makes his way out. He keeps his hand up to shield his hair. Like that will really do much good. "What are you doing, Ryuuzaki?"

I turn around and locate my gaze to the floor. "Ah, it's nothing worth mentioning." The bells toil again and I look up into the sky. "The sound of bells…" I mutter.

"Bells?" I can hear the confusion in Light's voice.

"Yes, the bells sound incredibly noisy today." I reply as way of explanation.

Light looks in the direction that I had been gazing in, before turning back to look at me. "I don't hear anything."

"Oh, really?" I answer. _They really are imaginary then…_ _I can hear them so clearly but Light can't hear a thing. _"They've been ringing incessantly today; I can't stop thinking about it." I glance upwards again as I continue. "Maybe there's a wedding at a church, or maybe…-"

Light interrupts me very rudely. "What are you talking about Ryuuzaki? Stop talking nonsense. Let's go inside."

I look down. _Well Light-Kun now believes that I am mad. _"Sorry. Everything I say is made up on the spot, so please don't believe a word of it."

"You're right, Ryuuzaki. The majority of what you say isn't true. If I took it all seriously there'd be no end to it. I know that better than anyone else." Light said as he looks at me.

Slowly, I turn to face him. "That's true, Light-Kun." There was a slight pause before I continued. "But… The same applies to you."

"What do you mean?" Light says in an innocent way.

I turn to him again. "Have you ever uttered a single completely true thing since you were born?" I had wanted to ask this for a while. I don't have a clue as to why I decided to say it now.

Light was clearly shocked. There was a deafening silence as we stared each other down. Even the rain seemed to silence itself. Even the pounding of bells vibrating inside my head calmed down slightly.

Finally, Light broke the silence that was growing thicker and thicker with each passing second. I swear, if you wanted to, you could hack into it with a knife. "What are you talking about, Ryuuzaki?" He asked in a smooth and confident voice. "Certainly I lie every now and again; but surely no one can be truthful throughout their entire life. People aren't that perfect."

_Yes, but you try to be perfect. _I thought bitterly.

"Everyone lies. But even so, I've made a point of not telling lies that will hurt others. That's my answer." He finished finally.

_Yes and a very long one at that. A very long lie… _"I thought you'd say that. Let's go back inside. We're both soaked."

"Yeah." Light replies.

Once we got inside, I left to go and find another towel. Throwing it on top of my head, I make my way back out to the step where Light was drying himself off. "Wow. That was quite an ordeal, wasn't it?"

Light continued to dry his hair without even looking at me. "It's all your fault for being out in the downpour."

_So it's my fault that you followed me out there in the first place? _"True, I'm sorry." I reply. I take the towel off of my head and lift Light's foot up.

His shock was clear across his flawless features. "What are you doing, Ryuuzaki?"

"I thought I'd help. You seem to be drying yourself with quite some fervour."

"It's fine. You don't have to do something like that."

"I'll throw in a massage? At least allow me to atone for this. I'm not at all bad at it, you know."

Light looks away. "Do as you please."

"Okay." I respond, as I apply pressure to his foot.

_I'm not one hundred percent sure as to why I insisted on giving him a massage. I suppose this is my own way of accepting my fate. Light is gone. He has been replaced by Kira; this is my way of accepting defeat._

"Oi." Light says.

"You'll get used to it quickly." I reply.

Light reaches for a towel and dries the hair around my face. "You're still wet."

"Sorry…" Silence falls upon us.

Finally, I break it. "Sad, isn't it?" I respond without looking up.

"Huh?"

I look up at him. "It's nearly time to say farewell."

My phone then rings and I answer it quickly as I stand up. "Yes? Understood I'll be there straight away." I then slip my phone into my pocket. "Shall we go then? Light-Kun? Seems like things have gone well." I make to leave and Light follows close behind.

"Ryuuzaki, what's the meaning of this?" Matsuda says loudly as we enter. "You've got permission from a ruined country to use the Death Note in an execution?"

I ignore him and sit down. "Watari, good job."

"No problem."

"Please begin making the arrangements to transport the Death Note."

"Yes." Watari responds.

"Ryuuzaki! What's going on?" Light asks loudly.

I pick up my spoon and tap the deadly book in front of me. "We're going to test the note book for real."

Everyone gasps in unison.

"This is absurd! There's no need to do this now. We already know the power of the note book is real." Aizawa begins.

"Besides, who's going to write the names?" Matsuda adds on the end. "Once you do, you have to write in it every thirteen days for the rest of your life!"

"The person who will write the name in the Death Note… Will be someone who's already sentenced to die within thirteen days. We'll do a probationary deal, saying that if they're alive after thirteen days, they'll be removed from death row."

"But… People's lives-" Soichiro starts.

I cut him off sharply. "It's just a little further! If we manage to clarify this, it'll take us straight to the solution."

Suddenly, the lights go out. I keep my eyes on the screen as the alarms go on and off. Red lights flash all around me tinting the screen a bright red. "Watari?"

All of a sudden, the screens flash to a white message that says: "All data deletion."

"Watari?" I say this, this time with more urgency. _Please no… Please._

"Deletion of data? What's happening?" Aizawa asks.

My gaze turns to stone and my body freezes. "I instructed Watari to delete all of the data if something were to happen to him."

"If something were to happen to him?" Aizawa says as he begins to panic.

"Don't tell me…" Matsuda mutters.

I ignore him. "Where's the Death God?" Everyone begins to panic as they look around, unable to find the Shinigami.

"Everyone, the Death God-" I get cut off as it strikes. I feel an explosion in my chest that intensifies rapidly into agonising pain. My heart splutters and my eyes widen. My spoon slips from my grip as I lose control of my body. My body soon follows the spoon in slow motion and time itself seems to slow down.

The next thing I know, Light is cradling me in his arms.

"Ryuuzaki? What's wrong?" Matsuda's voice seems to echo all the ay around the room and it seems to come from miles away.

All I can hear is the bells. They symbolise my fate as I gaze up into the dark, twisted, malicious eyes of Kira. The cold-blooded serial killer.

The bells bring with them flashbacks of my past as I continue to gaze into Kira's sadistic, twisted face. I am looking for Light, but I can not find him. I search the depths of his honey eyes, but I find nothing but hatred. Hatred at me, hatred at anything that dares to stand in his way. Hatred at anything that doesn't fit in with his warped sense of justice.

Light has been consumed. He has been consumed by a monster driven crazy by power.

My eyes finally slip shut. I have seen enough. I don't want to see anymore. The pain dies down and I can feel my conscience slipping from my grip faster and faster with every passing second. I always knew that I would die at a young age. Perhaps I knew it right from the beginning.

I knew from the second that I met Light that I would die a fighting battle against the evil that has corrupted the young boy who only wanted justice; Kira.

**A/N Well there you go. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and let me know what you think about this. Constructive criticism is always welcomed. ^^**

***~JazzieLouise~***


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